Are your feelings about yourself tied to what and how much you eat?
Do you struggle with accepting your body as it is?
Do you relate to food in an emotional, judgmental way?
Are you confused about what and how much to eat?
If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you are not alone. Many people struggle with body dissatisfaction and a disordered relationship with food. How did we evolve from using food as fuel in our hunting and gathering days to now – struggles with body image, and confusion about what and how much to eat? Three factors, if not more, have contributed to this.
Culture/social media: We see it on TV, billboards, magazine covers, Facebook, Instagram, and other social media. Pictures of photo shopped people with lean, toned, and tanned bodies. Not a blemish. And they look happy, really happy. We make up stories about their lives: Everything goes well for them. They roll out of bed looking amazing. They are confident. Their houses are clean. They have perfect relationships. And so on. Then we look at our own bodies and lives and feel like we’re missing the mark. You may notice that you have thoughts like, “That’s what I’m supposed to look like,” “What’s wrong with me?”, and, “If I just eat less and move more…”. And then we start to feel crappy about ourselves. I believe for many, this leads to a disordered relationship with food.
The diet mentality: These days, there are endless diets to choose from that promise the body and life of your dreams. If you go to any bookstore, you will find rows upon rows of books promoting every kind of diet under the sun. If you are dissatisfied with your body, you likely have jumped on one or many bandwagons that promise weight loss, health, and happiness. You may feel overwhelmed by all of the information and madly scramble to find the “right” diet that will fix your problems. You may try said diet for a week or two and then give up because you slipped up and it’s just too hard. Through gathering information about diets, you may come to demonize certain foods as “bad” and feel guilty when you succumb to them. You do this for years and years, sometimes decades. It is exhausting and confusing.
Increased stress: We live in a time of increased stress. This is often rooted in good things – more opportunities and independence for women, lots of choices for kids, opportunities to advance in careers, advancements in technology, and so on. However, we also are more isolated and anxious than ever. Increased stress and isolation make us vulnerable to coping in unhealthy ways. One of the ways many people cope with stress and isolation is by eating. We may eat when we’re bored, lonely, frustrated, sad, angry, happy, and everything between. Food can be is a short-term fix that often leaves us feeling more emotionally empty than ever. And this can create a negative relationship with food when we suffer the consequences of feeling worse -- physically and emotionally – than before.
If you have a complicated/negative relationship with food, how can you begin to heal it? That is a big question with no answer and many answers. Asking this question can send you off on a very long and meandering journey. Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Keep track of your thoughts about your body, weight, and food for 7 days. Just notice what you are thinking and capture as many thoughts as you can on paper.
- Notice if there are thoughts that polarize food into “good” and “bad.” Make a list of foods you deem “good” and foods you deem “bad."
- Notice the images you consume on any kind of media and write them down.
Simply taking notice can be the beginning of a healing journey for you. There is no quick fix or formulaic solution for figuring out and correcting where you have gone wrong with food. It is often the intuitive, felt experience that can inform and guide you as you explore your relationship with food. Relationships are living and dynamic, ever evolving. Your relationship with food is no different!
Until next time,
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